Marriage Was Hard—Until They Learned What Love Really Means
Part 11 of Two Become One: The Prelude to a Joy-Filled Marriage
They’d said “I do,” moved in, picked out throw pillows, and even shared a devotional plan in their Bible app. But Jada was tired. Marcus was frustrated. Both were praying, but something still felt off.
It wasn’t crisis-level. There were no slammed doors or silent nights. But the joy that once buzzed in every room now seemed to have taken a vacation.
That’s when Jada noticed the flyer in the coffee shop window.
“Joy for a Lifetime Marriage Workshop – Building a Stronger Bond God’s Way.” It was happening next weekend, at a local church just a few miles from their home. She snapped a picture and sent it to Marcus with one word: “Please?”
He wasn’t exactly excited, but he agreed.
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A Room Full of Real Couples
When they arrived, the fellowship hall was already buzzing. A large circle of folding chairs filled the room, and couples of all ages — some newlyweds, some gray-haired and glowing — were checking in, writing their names on sticky tags. There was diversity in every way: age, ethnicity, experience. Some couples held hands tightly. Others seemed to be holding their breath.
After a brief welcome and prayer, the group was asked to go around the circle and, after introducing themselves, share one word they loved about their spouse. Jada chose 'steadfast.' Marcus said 'brave.' One man choked up as he whispered, 'forgiving.'
The exercise felt simple, but there were tears, laughter, and something unspoken that settled across the room — a sense that they weren’t alone.
Couples were then paired with seasoned mentor couples who had been prayerfully chosen ahead of time. In addition, men and women would gather separately in breakout sessions designed to go deeper — spiritually and practically.
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Their Turning Point
That’s when Jada and Marcus met Harold and Denise — 42 years married and still holding hands like newlyweds. It was through them that Jada and Marcus first learned they weren’t failing — they were just trying to build something eternal with earthly tools.
Denise spoke directly to Jada’s heart:
“Submission doesn’t mean you disappear. It means you trust God enough to let Him lead your husband. And Marcus,” she added gently, “headship isn’t about control. It’s about carrying the weight of love, service, and sacrifice — like Jesus did.”
Something clicked.
The weekend included open discussions, private prayer time, and honest reflection. In the men’s group, Marcus admitted he’d been waiting for Jada to follow when he hadn’t really led. In the women’s circle, Jada realized she had prayed for a godly husband but hadn’t trusted him to grow into the role.
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It Didn’t End There
After the workshop, the husbands and wives continued meeting separately in small groups — safe spaces where they could grow, share, and support one another.
The couples formed friendships. The kind that show up with prayer and casseroles. The kind that stay through both the battles and the breakthroughs.
Jada and Marcus kept meeting with Harold and Denise monthly. They didn’t always agree on everything, and change didn’t happen overnight. But over time, Jada let go of needing to have the last word. Marcus stepped up to initiate prayer, plans, and even apologies.
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The Legacy Begins
Fast forward ten or even twenty years. Jada and Marcus are now the mentors. They lead a small group for engaged couples. They’re praying about starting a workshop at their church — maybe for couples preparing for marriage, maybe even for teens — sharing the joy that comes from a marriage designed by God.
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What the Bible Says
In Ephesians 5:22–33, Paul lays out the blueprint for marriage:
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
This passage isn’t a weapon — it’s a mirror. It reflects the sacrificial love of Christ and the mutual respect God desires between a husband and wife.
Titus 2 reminds us of the power of mentorship:
“Teach the older women to be reverent… so that they can urge the younger women to love their husbands…”
And Proverbs 11:14 reminds us:
“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
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A Joyful Reminder
Two becoming one doesn’t happen in a moment — and it doesn’t happen alone.
You can’t become physically fit by eating one healthy meal or hitting the gym for five days and calling it done. In the same way, you don’t build a Christ-centered marriage by simply saying “I do” and sharing a Bible app plan.
Even after the biggest Thanksgiving meal, you still need to eat again. Why? Because growth, strength, and nourishment are ongoing.
Marriage is no different. It takes commitment. Discipline. Grace. And the willingness to let the Holy Spirit guide you as you follow the wisdom of God’s Word.
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📖 Weekly Marriage Growth Challenge:
- Read Ephesians 5:22–33 to rediscover God’s roles for husband and wife.
- Meditate on 1 Corinthians 13 once a week — not just what love feels like, but what love does.
- Dive into our new series, The Greatest of These, for more biblical truth and encouragement.
Because when you follow God’s design for marriage, what you build is no ordinary relationship — it’s a legacy filled with grace, purpose, and Joy for a Lifetime.
